Monday, May 7, 2007

Doing Just Fine (Journal Entry for May 3, 2007)

This three-in the morning I've finally found the perfect French language web site. To learn this language is my number one goal this year. If I'm not articulate enough, at least I know I did my best, and I try.

Perhaps you wonder about my fascination with the French. This is not just a phase or a short-lived affair. It actually started at grade school when I saw the animation of Frances Hodgson Burnett novel The Little Princess on TV, dubbed in Tagalog.

Sara Crew on her first day of school in New York was forced by her teacher (Ms. Minchin) to take French lessons. She refused to attend for two reasons: she's half-French and is already fluent in that language. To convince everyone she surprised them by demonstrating how eloquent she is with the lingo. It caused jealousy over her classmates, stir anger to the ferocious Ms. Minchin, and grew admiration among the unaffected rest.

My fondness for French broaden after reading Hodgson Burnett's book itself, and watching Warner Bros. own film adaptation of the latter.

When I was in high school Gustave Flaubert became my French icon. He was the first French writer I liked, and the first writer I really took seriously of knowing. Madame Bovary was my first favorite classic novel. Ever since, I have wanted to adapt this book for the screen if I become a director or scriptwriter someday. But right now, everything is tough luck. Rather than loafing my time on mundane things pursuing my number one goal is not a bad idea for a head start. So what, if it's the second quarter of the year already? Better late than never!

If given a chance, I hope in the next one or two years I'm living in Montmartre. There is more to France than seeing the Eiffel tower (I mean really standing there), or lavishing on the fashion centred city of Paris and drinking wine. There is the culture; the talented no nonsense talented people with their passionate outlook of life. Enjoying every single meal, may there be hundreds of carbs on it. Sipping the best coffee in town while sharing conversations. And their extreme devotion to the arts - all proud and freedom loving. I would feel really 'blessed' if I have the chance to live there.

Film Directors and their films captured my soul (Jean Pierre Jeunet rules!!!). Even English films that were shot in France (i.e. French Kiss, Le Divorce, Marie Antoinette, Before Sunset [especially these two]) or French theme movies like Moulin Rouge strike me straight in the heart. It is true love, similar to what I have for my home country. Guys, I love the Philippines, but I want to explore the world, too. Just like you, I don't deserve to live my life in a gilded cage. As long as we're alive we must be free to go to all the places we want to go. Not only it's a wonderful experience, but also, it lessen the evil that is trying to possess us. Bad mood, irritability, and cynical meandering are the result of imprisonment, and inability to actualized one's dreams.

Maybe, what I'm trying to become is a bohemian bum under the bridge of a European city.

By the way, Jessica Zafra suggested that a handy notebook help tremendously for writing a manuscript. Some were not able because they write their ideas on little sheets of paper, like on receipts or napkins. I do that most of the time, and now I see why I can't get things done. I bought this notebook for the same reason and for my incoming French lessons on the Internet starting tonight. Good luck to me!

Did I tell you I have a language learning disorder? No, not dyslexia. I don't have a name for it - just language learning disorder. I have a hard time learning new words, recalling/comprehending what I just read, and also writing.

Even with that, I'm hoping for the best. Keira Knightley conquered dyslexia. She did not let it thwart her dreams, but where she suffered the most difficulty and her passion for acting served as a driving force for her to overcome her problem. I have to remind myself everyday (or every minute/seconds of the day) that constant learning, dedication, tenacity, patience & practice kills what's improbable!

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