Terrible Case of Mistaken Identity

With all the Pinoy blog accounts on cyberspace that sprouted like mushrooms here and there, you'd often wonder: "What are we trying to get into? What message are we trying to send to the world?" Sometimes i thought, everyone were fascinated with KC Concepcion, her life in Paris, the oh-so-glamorous photos she took in Europe with her friends, her interesting travel adventures. It makes us want to have that kind of life, too. Where art is everywhere. Not an imposition, but a privilege for the entire human race. Everyone seems to want to follow that trend...I mean, kc's glamorous life. If you want affirmation, explore multiply and you'll know what i'm talking about. You know, that infamous "kooki blog." Hundreds and hundreds of blog with the same stories, same pictures, same rants, same gratitude.

Why pretend to be her? Why try to live the same life? Yeah...right, she's cool. If you have that much money then be free to indulge. But what's exciting by being somebody else? And if you're just an average middle-class filipino who can't even afford to buy the latest cellular phone while also struggling to make ends meet would you still believe in fantasy over reailty? Get real!

I was reading a journal entry a minute ago titled "I always wondered, now I know" from a visitor named kristinepheyre. It was actually a list of ten quirky things about herself. What surprises me, was the fact that I also shared some of her quirkiness. Honestly! To be elaborate they are nos. 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8 and 9. (to see what i'm talking about please visit this link: http://kristinepheyre.multiply.com/journal).

Just like Kristine, I want to disappear in Europe. Be away from all the people I know. My greatest dream was to be a screenwriter/photographer/filmmaker living in Paris, France or a bum getting lost or drown by all the inspiration from Europe. Please, it has nothing to do with KC. Goddamn it! I can't tell my friends or family about this because they assume I was dreaming hard to live like her. It's not always about her!!!

During the routine arguments that my mum and I used to have about my fucked up job she would ask me (with her usual angry tone) about my dream job. Unfortunately, before I can come up with an answer my fears would get the best of me. I've learn my lesson. A long time ago I've opened up to my parents about my ambitions. But the only thing I've received from them is discouragement. To cease further bouts of depression, I would tell myself that my dreams are too glamorous for us to afford, not practical, as they say, so I should work as hard as I could to achieve them with my own money. Whatever it takes. No matter how long it would take me.

I tend to be furious about those people (in particular, my friends) who has all the talent to be successful but has no interest of using it or would just settle for stupid jobs that never amount to being extraordinary. It's not about the money, because it's not always about the cash. They should know better that the skills god bestowed upon them must be put to use, must be shared, rather than be hidden in the dark.