Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

If the both of you agreed to be friends after you've decided to end your relationship...mean it! Resist the urge to cross the line because if you can't do this how do you expect to start your life on the right track. There are some people who after breaking up promises to remain good friends to each other, and still holds on to one another as if they were still romantically involved.

Maybe they were hung-up on the version of that person who loved them so they can't quite moved on. Some were in fact, still expects their "ex" to render the same effort or level of commitment to them as if nothing wrong had happened or as if no heart's were broken.

Two friends of mine who broke up last 2006 used to date each other for five years and have suffered from an ill-fated story. Their relationship went sour and ended up in tears and pity party for saying harsh things without thinking and some series of infidelity. Though they loved each other even after they broke up they've decided not to resume it in a relationship, or so I thought. But little we know they were still acting like a couple.

I called her up one day to invite her for a summer swim and I found out that she have decided to put an end to everything between them, even their so-called friendship. (duh?) I could sense a strain in her voice, it was almost like she was going to cry. Since the bloke is my friend too, I took the liberty to hear his story. According to him, (thegirl) demanded a lot from him. His absence was viewed as his lack of interest to make their relationship work. Wait a minute, this confuses me, because first of all, I thought they've decided to stay friends, but only on that level and not as though they were crazy jilted lovers trying to get the feeling again.

What they're doing to each other is terribly wrong. Why? Because they've said it before that what they have between them is over and done and that they are better off as friends. Once they've decided to keep their friendship they should leave it at that and not extend it with benefits.

Believe me, if there is someone who wants them to be together again it would be me. I cried and moaned for their break-up like a child of divorce. And now they're going through it once more I've had enough. They should grow up and stop acting childish. Us, their friends, are also affected by their on-and-off antics.

(Thegirl) expects too much and wants him to be the man she loved and hopes to love. Meanwhile, (theboy) is unaware of her ideas and acts nonchalant about it like any normal guy-friend. Since they're no longer together as a couple and have come to a mutual decision to remain friends, he no longer felt responsible to please her.

She told me two years ago that his lack of effort contributes to her falling out of love from him. But if he can't get it right before, why now? If it didn't happen while they're together I don't see it happening any time soon.

As I've said a while ago, I want them to be together. But at this time it would be advisable for them to be friends again first before rushing into a more serious commitment. Their painful breakup is still fresh in their memories. I wouldn't wonder if they throw blame or pin point each other for mistakes when they're in the middle of a fight because they haven't really started on a clean slate yet. I want them be really happy. I want them to enjoy each other's company without thinking all the disasters they went through out of anger. Though it cause wreckage to their relationship I want them to be able to make fun of it someday.


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